Oh Mandy

Everything is going pretty well for Cathy, isn’t it? She’s engaged, she’s becoming more and more famous as a dancer, she’s plotting some pretty elaborate revenge…

So naturally it all has to go awry.

The company’s practice schedule has really ramped up in anticipation of their trip to London. Cathy is starting (STARTING) to despise Julian, who screams at and berates her constantly as they practice. She also doesn’t trust him anymore, which is making it hard for her to jump to him gracefully since she fully suspects him of being able to hurt her deliberately.

Wellllll

So they try the move again and again Cathy can’t fully commit to it, so Julian drops her on the floor. He wants to know if she lost all her energy having sex with Paul and she’s like “No, my dance partner is an abusive asshole who purposely hurt my knee the other week and so I do not trust you, you utter shit”. Julian assures (?) her that he’d have to really hate her to injure her permanently, and he doesn’t really hate her.

Yet.

The end of this recap is really, really gonna sting.

The night of the performance arrives (they’re doing Romeo and Juliet by the way, a show in New York before they fly to London) and I guess Cathy was the understudy because Yolanda shows up high and gets sent home by Madame Z. Yolanda tries to kick Cathy as she leaves and wants to know why she didn’t just stay down south. Cathy is, naturally, amazing, and Julian is nice and condescending about how she was spectacular, but how does she always manage to be terrible right until they perform? UGH. He also kisses her when it’s time to take their bows, which the crowd loves. UGH UGH UGH.

Later, Cathy is in her dressing room getting ready for the after-party when Madame Z comes to tell her that someone is there to see her, all the way from Cathy’s hometown. It’s a brunette woman whom Cathy doesn’t recognize, who takes her sweet time looking at Cathy and all of her costumes. She sits down and smiles at Cathy, who gets ready for something bad to go down as she can tell the woman isn’t there for niceties. Brunette acknowledges that Cathy is maybe beautiful (“Thanks?”–Cathy) and a wonderful dancer (which surprised Brunette). Finally, after critiquing Cathy’s hair, body, fur coat, diamond ring, breasts, and innocence, and referring to her and Chris and Carrie as “three nobodies”, it becomes clear that this is Paul’s sister Amanda, the one who lives across town but never sees him. She notes that Paul has had plenty of “playmates”, though she admits that he never bought any of them furs or a ring, and touches Cathy’s cheek (rude) to note that her skin won’t be that great (and she won’t have all of her hair) once she’s 35. And Paul will have tired of her by then.

Roll me into the tomb, folks, I am Universal’s The Mummy.

Amanda says that she doesn’t care what Paul does as long as it doesn’t affect her life, and when Cathy speaks up and tells her to get out because it doesn’t affect her life, Amanda is like “You think everyone doesn’t know about you two? It’s a small town and everyone knows and soon it’ll start to wreak havoc on his medical practice” (and I mean…fair). Cathy’s working herself up now, and she tells Amanda that she knows that Amanda paid Paul’s way through medical school, BUT she also knows that Paul has paid her back, with interest, so Amanda needs to back off thinking Paul owes her anything. She can’t make Paul look bad in Cathy’s eyes because they love each other and are going to get married. Amanda laughs and starts to say something about Paul that Julia once told her, but Cathy cuts her off and informs her that she knows all about Julia and how she wasn’t a “real” wife to Paul. (No, Cathy. No.) Amanda laughs some more and points out that that’s the same line men have given to their mistresses forever, and says that Julia was a wonderful woman who was a wonderful wife, and while yeah, maybe Paul had to fool around because Julia wouldn’t sleep with him (NOPE), that’s no excuse for what Paul did. Cathy’s retort is that Paul didn’t do anything (NOOOOOPE), especially compared to what Julia did. Amanda concedes that, acknowledging that what Julia did was horrific, but that Paul rightly blames himself and that he got Cathy pregnant because he misses his son.

Cathy: WHAT THE WHAT NOW

Amanda tells her that the whole town knows about her abortion, and when Cathy protests that it was a medical procedure related to her irregular periods, Amanda says no, that Cathy miscarried a fetus with two heads. Cathy goes into shock, since she hadn’t slept with Paul at that point, meaning that it would have been Chris’s child, with the problems that she’s always been afraid of. Amanda, who is terrible, pats her on the shoulder and tells her that she’s beautiful and young and will find someone else. All men are beasts, that’s why Paul didn’t tell Cathy the truth, oh and also being a married man’s mistress is no future, so Cathy should leave Paul right away. Cathy, still in shock, says that Paul is a widower. Nope, says Amanda, Julia didn’t die that day. She’s alive and in an institution, and even though she’ll never leave it, she’s Paul’s legal wife. She hands Cathy some photos of Julia in the hospital, and leaves, but not before telling Cathy that she should marry Julian, since he’s obviously in love with her.

Great talk all around, Amanda.

Cathy goes to the party with Julian, and lets herself go along with his sweet talk and declarations of love. He makes some allusion to Cathy being a virgin (did you not taunt her about her sexual history like 3 days ago) and insists that he knows she is when she denies it. Cathy, drunk and sad and angry, agrees to sleep with Julian, but just for one night and also she’s not in love with him. Julian assures her that she will be and next thing you know they’re at City Hall getting married before leaving for London.

Oh, Cathy.

She almost leaves and runs back to Paul, knowing how upset he’ll be when he finds out, and also how Chris will react—but Chris told her he’d rather she marry Julian than Paul, so that settles it. Cathy cries on the plane to England, and as ever, thinks angrily on Corrine, who is the reason everything has gone so wrong.

Hey, would you guess that marriage to Julian is a living nightmare? You’d be right!
Next time? (worst cliffhanger ever)