Ruby stumbles back into the dining room and tells Paul about Daphne. He immediately wants to cancel his appointments and come with her to New Orleans, but she tells him not to since the funeral isn’t for another few days and there’s no point in him hanging around. Is there ever? She’ll leave Pearl with the nanny and head down the next morning. Paul hovers around her bedroom door during the night, but she won’t let him in for fear that hugging and whatnot will turn into something else. Grow a spine, Ruby, oh my flipping stars. Really? But really? You are why parents enforce open door rules. “But we were just hugging and then BOOM.” Good lord.
Ruby drives to New Orleans, where she confuses the new butler (who thinks she’s Gisselle) but it’s soon cleared up and she goes upstairs to find her sister chattering away merrily on the phone, though she quickly changes her tune once she sees Ruby. Ruby asks after Bruce and learns that he’s a complete wreck now, having lost his source of income, but Beau has been Gisselle’s rock. Gisselle wastes no time in making sure Ruby knows that Beau loves her now, so Ruby better stay away. Ruby assures her that she’s not after Beau and asks about the funeral. Gisselle wants Ruby’s help making a list of people to ask, which Ruby finds appalling since it’s “not supposed to be a party”. But…okay. I’ve never planned a funeral, so I don’t know these things, but wouldn’t having a list of people be useful? I mean, are funerals just open door? I maybe have to side with Gisselle (SHOCK) on this one, even though I’m sure she’s thinking less of people who cared about Daphne and more about society folks.
And why does Ruby care, anyway? She hated Daphne! And she doesn’t care much for New Orleans society either, so why does she care if Gisselle turns Daphne’s funeral into a party? She should be the first to RSVP! Oh, wait, this is Ruby we’re talking about. Why should I expect her to behave in a manner consistent with her true feelings? Anyhoo. The sisters part ways to freshen up, but Ruby’s done first and goes downstairs to find Bruce rummaging through Daphne’s office. Gisselle told Ruby earlier that Bruce has been effectively locked out of Daphne’s estate, but he’s obviously trying to find some loophole or other. He’s also got a bottle of bourbon with him and his tie is loose. His tie! Is loose! Universal sign of drunkeness!
Bruce wants Ruby to team up with him against Gisselle and Beau, who, he claims, are cheating him out of what’s rightfully his. Ruby’s not hearing that, though, especially not with the years of embezzling that he and Daphne were doing to poor sainted Pierre. Bruce’s story is that he and Daphne had made arrangements, just not on paper, but Ruby’s not going to help him. He throws Beau and Gisselle’s relationship into Ruby’s face and promises that he’ll have the last laugh. Ruby leaves the room and tells Gisselle about the conversation, but Gisselle naturally doesn’t care. The sisters watch Bruce make his way out of the house with an armful of papers and he leaves angrily as Gisselle calls after him that Daphne had copies of everything, so he can’t destroy a thing. The girls eat lunch and Gisselle goes to call some people and Ruby wanders around the house. She eventually ends up in her old studio, where she promptly has a flashback to that time she and Beau did it in there. Said flashback is interrupted by the actual appearance of Beau, now sporting a John Waters-esque mustache. (Okay, they call it a Rhett Butler mustache, but we all know the truth) Blah blah blah he’s so sorry, he would have been disowned, how would he have cared for a baby, what’s the baby’s name, la la la, then he and Gisselle got together and here we are. Their reunion is cut short by Gisselle. She demands that Beau take her out for coffee while Ruby stays behind to call Mrs. Flemming and check on Pearl.
After Gisselle and Beau return, they all go to Daphne’s wake. Bruce makes a drunken fool of himself and swears some more revenge. Ruby and Beau make eyes at each other. Gisselle actually manages to cry a little. Oh and apparently Paul showed up at some point? I honestly cannot find the moment that he arrives. He’s just suddenly there. That’s terrifying. Paul and Ruby go back to Houma, where Ruby is not dealing well with having seen Beau again. She sees his face more and more in Pearl’s, and she keeps remembering his last words to her before she left New Orleans… Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah. Basically he’ll settle for Gisselle and pretend that she’s Ruby. I guess I just figured that was a given? I’m telling you, if Paul could just focus and do the same, we’d be good to go. One afternoon Ruby gets a letter in the mail—it’s a New Orleans newspaper, featuring the news of the elopement of Beau Andreas and Gisselle Dumas. Ruby does not take this well. And neither does Paul, who shows up in Ruby’s bedroom to throw a little fit.
Ruby starts making all of her Confederate romance paintings really depressing and she cries a lot while painting them. When Paul sees them, he tells her that he’s trapped her (there’s a lengthy mockingbird analogy) but Ruby doesn’t want Paul to be sad and offers to throw the paintings away. Paul won’t let her and instead wants to take her out for dinner and dancing to cheer her up. Ruby agrees, but before they can leave she gets a call from Gisselle, who’s just rubbing it all in a little, is all. Ruby hangs up on her, but a week later she hears from Paul that Beau called about estate business and Paul invited Beau and Gisselle to Cypress Woods. Well, this can only be a good idea.
Sure enough, the happy couple rolls in for a visit. Gisselle is rude to the servants, insults the SWAMPS and the house, and hastens off to shower all within the first ten minutes, but Beau wants to meet Pearl. Pearl and Beau immediately have a connection, and Ruby wonders if Mrs. Flemming is sensing that everything isn’t quite right. Well, considering how all anyone ever says is how much Pearl looks like Beau, I would imagine she’s probably just a touch confused. After they leave the nursery, Beau has a guilt fit about how he should have defied his parents and gotten a job and been brave enough to take care of Pearl like Ruby was, but Ruby’s not interested in hearing about what could have been. Beau wants to buy all of the Confederate paintings (I mean, who wouldn’t):
He also wants her to know that he makes Gisselle wear her perfume and whatnot so as to further his illusion. But! He’s gotten himself an apartment in the French Quarter, where he wants to meet Ruby in secret, so that neither of them have to pretend anymore! But no, torrid affairs are not okay with Ruby. Sleeping with one’s brother, that’s okay though. Ruby refuses and hastens them back downstairs to meet Paul and Gisselle. Their respective spouses eye them suspiciously, but they all sit down to discuss business. They all have lots of money, carrying on. Afterwards, Paul suggests that they all go for a boat ride through the SWAMPS. Beau eventually convinces Gisselle and they all go and actually have a good time.
After the ride, Beau and Gisselle go off to bed with the intention of leaving early the next morning. Paul wishes Ruby good night, but not without first ranting a little about the “accident of birth” that keeps them from really being together.
LET IT GO.
They part ways and Ruby wonders what will become of them.
Okay! Next time: Obviously Beau and Ruby sneak off together, Jeanne asks Ruby for sex advice, and yet another terrible accident happens at this ranch that they suddenly own. And poor, poor decisions are made by everyone.