Character Spotlight Roundup

I figure that

1. It’s been ages since a recap, so I might as well do a refresher.

2. These characters (most of ‘em) will be with us through the series, so let’s get comfortable with them.

3. I like looking up pictures from True Blood.

Let’s see who we’re dealing with so far, shall we?

Ah am yer put-upon heroine!

This here is Ruby Landry Dumas, the star of our series (at least the first three books). After her mother died having her, Ruby was raised as a poor CAJUN girl in the SWAMPS by her faith-healin’ Grandmere Catherine and marginally by her hard-drinkin’ Grandpere Jack. So far in our story, Ruby has discovered that her friend and almost boyfriend Paul Tate is actually her half-brother, that her father is a rich CREOLE guy from New Orleans, and that she has a twin sister named Gisselle. After her Grandmere’s death and her Grandpere’s subsequent attempts to sell her off, Ruby ran away to the Big Easy, where she has proceeded to be the bestest at everything, win her father’s heart by existing, piss off her stepmother, and royally annoy her twin sister. She’s also made out with her sister’s boyfriend. Ruby is annoying naive, but we’re supposed to find it endearing, so let’s all work on that.

Again with the winsome.

This wonderful creature is Gisselle Dumas, Ruby’s long-lost twin sister. Gisselle was purchased from their mother (basically) immediately after being born, so she was raised in New Orleans by their father and stepmother (though Gisselle doesn’t know that). Gisselle knows what she wants and she wants it now. Gisselle’s hobbies include sunbathing, smoking up, drinking too much, making out with various guys, shopping, and hanging out with her boyfriend Beau. Lately, she has spent most of her time figuring out new ways to bother the new sister who has suddenly inserted herself into Gisselle’s life, taking time and attention (and Beau!) away from Gisselle. She is pretty amazing.

I have no idea what's going on.

This is Paul Tate. He is the first illegitimate child of Gabrielle Landry’s who was sold off. (Sorry Gabby) He was raised by his father and stepmother like Gisselle, and until recently he didn’t know the truth. He is head over heels for Ruby, a fact which didn’t change even after he learned that they were half-brother and half-sister. Paul still wants to get with Ruby, figuring that his money should be able to cover up the truth. As of right now, he is still out in the SWAMPS, and doesn’t yet know that he has another sister. He will probably be really happy about that.

Yeah, that's right. It's me.

This fine fellow is Beau Andreas, Gisselle’s richy CREOLE boyfriend, who has developed quite the thing for Ruby since she’s come to town. We don’t know a whole lot about Beau right now, other than he’s a pretty boy and he may or may not be deeper than he seems. Maybe. Basically he’s a hot blond follower.

Hellooo ladies

 

This is Martin. Martin is one of Beau’s close friends. He’s had the hots for Gisselle for a while and thought that the arrival of Ruby meant that he got a Dumas girlfriend too. That didn’t pan out, but he may yet have luck with Gisselle, since she lacks most qualms.

I cannot deal with any of this right now.

Gisselle was raised by Daphne Dumas, who she believes to be her biological mother. Daphne’s husband Pierre cheated on her with Gabrielle Landry and as Daphne was unable to have any children of her own, she agreed to raise Pierre and Gabrielle’s baby. Daphne is a classic socialite, she lives for dinner parties and spending her husband’s money. She disliked Ruby almost immediately and wants Pierre to be less attached to her. She’s a cold hard bitch.

Sadly, for the life of me I cannot find a suitable picture for Pierre Dumas. He’s just so…sad. See, Pierre was raised in the shadow of his younger brother Jean, and after Jean’s injury in a boating accident, Pierre married a woman he wasn’t that into, and tried to fill his brother’s shoes. Then his mom died because she was so upset about his brother, then Pierre had an affair with a woman that he actually loved, but caved under familial pressure when he knocked her up and then he bought their baby from her. Now he makes a lot of money that he spends on his wife and daughter(s) and cries in his brother’s room at night.

Yeah. Any suggestions?

Man, this picture is weird.

And here, in all her splendor, we have Gabrielle Landry (hey, why not?), oft-described SWAMP maiden/SWAMP fairy/pure soul/earth angel/baby mama, who died giving birth to Ruby and Gisselle. We’ll meet Gabrielle more later on, but for now she is simply a figure, a magical, magical figure. Also, Swamp Thing, official mascot of the Landry series.

Recaps to begin again shortly. I will not set a date because then I will get mad at myself. I <3 you all.

Argh

I’ve been getting ready to move, guys, and that’s seriously impeded my recapping time. I will be back ASAP, once I’ve unloaded 300000 boxes of books and craft supplies.

Trust Issues

It’s October? October?? Where are the months going? Am I…am I in a VCA novel? Oh man.

With the Mardi Gras holiday over, it’s time for Ruby to start going to school in New Orleans. Gisselle picks out her clothes, but tells her sister that she won’t be able to save her a seat near her in their classes since Gisselle is always surrounded by admiring boys, and she can’t take their thrills away. For her first day, Ruby is going in with Daphne and Pierre so that they can register her, Gisselle (as per usual) is riding with Beau. On the ride over, Daphne tells Ruby to make sure that she only makes friends with the best people—everyone will know Ruby’s story by now, and lots of people will want to get close to her, but she has to make sure about them first. Ruby is a little nervous about this, but Daphne tells her just to check with Gisselle before she makes friends with anyone.

They meet with the principal, who is described in way to much detail for a throw-away character, but we’re told that he has a thyroid condition because that was important for us all to know. Ruby is duly registered and introduced to Caroline Higgins, requisite nerd, who will be Ruby’s guide around the school. Caroline tells Ruby to call her “Mookie”, which is apparently a nickname that she doesn’t like, but that everyone else calls her, so she’s learned to live with it.

Totally Mookie.

Mookie also tells Ruby that everyone has been eagerly awaiting Ruby’s arrival, and no one has been able to concentrate in class all morning. Somehow I don’t think that’s all Ruby’s fault. They go to English class, where, sure ’nuff, all of the seats around Gisselle are full of boys, like she’s Scarlett at the barbecue. The teacher gives Ruby her textbooks, and mentions that the class has been discussing Poe’s “Murders in the Rue Morgue”, and he’s pleasantly surprised when Ruby tells him that she’s already read it. Teacher makes a point of noting that people from the BAYOU aren’t as backwards as some of the students seemed to think, and also that he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to tell Ruby and Gisselle apart, but now he sees that it won’t be a problem. Snap! Gisselle does not like that.

At lunch Beau finds Ruby in the cafeteria and takes her over to the table where Gisselle is holding court along with her two best friends Claudine and Antoinette. Gisselle has been telling everyone about how Ruby used to clean fish and sell napkins by the side of the road, but Beau defends Ruby by telling their friends about her artwork and the paintings that she’s sold. Soon everyone is asking Ruby questions about the BAYOU, and Gisselle, hurting for attention, tries to get some company for a cigarette outside before lunch is over. No one wants to go, including Beau, and Gisselle gets pissed and huffs out with two boys from another table. That afternoon Beau offers Ruby a ride home, and though they wait a little while for Gisselle, she doesn’t show up. Beau, knowing that Gisselle is only making him wait to annoy him, takes off without her, even after Ruby says that she thinks she sees her sister coming out of the school doors.

Weeks go by and school is pretty much school, only Ruby is naturally the best thing that’s ever happened to a school, and she, in short order, becomes the art editor and editorial cartoonist for the school paper, joins the glee club, and gets the lead in the school play.

Don't walk in front of this girl on the stairs, Ruby.

Beau is the other lead in the play, which thrills Ruby and annoys Gisselle, especially when he suggests that she should be Ruby’s understudy since no one would ever know the difference. Gisselle snaps back that he never could tell the real thing from the fake and was that just an orgasm joke in a V.C. Andrews novel? My stars! Gisselle continues that Ruby’s already been her understudy ever since she came to town, since Gisselle had to teach her how to walk and talk and take a bath. Ruby’s all “Gisselle, that’s not truuuue!” and *weeps*, but Gisselle is taking no prisoners and notes that she also had to teach her sister that it wasn’t “natural” for a boy to put his hands under her clothes. BURN.

Ruby screams that that’s a lie and runs out of the cafeteria (and straight out of the school!) crying. She walks home, stopping at one point to watch two little girls playing  in their front yard, and she imagines what life would have been like if she and Gisselle had been raised together. That evening, Gisselle unlocks the adjoining door between their rooms and apologizes to Ruby. She admits that she really was jealous about Beau liking Ruby, and she assures her twin that she’ll make certain that everyone at school knows that she wasn’t telling the truth. Ruby totally buys it. Gisselle then invites Ruby to a slumber party the next night at Claudine’s house. Ruby accepts and the pair happily does their homework together.

The next day at school everyone is nice to Ruby when they see that she and Gisselle have made peace, and Ruby tells Beau about the slumber party. He’s suspicious, as the boys usually hear all about such plans (Maybe you’re just not invited, Beau, ever think of that?), but Ruby figures it was spur of the moment and thinks nothing of it. That night at dinner, Daphne is also annoyed at the short notice, but Pierre thinks that the girls should be allowed to go, and Daphne begrudgingly agrees. At the party are Claudine, Antoinette, and two other girls: Theresa (which is my cat’s name, tee hee), and Deborah. The night starts out innocently enough, eating popcorn and listening to records, and while there is some vodka cranberry action going on, Gisselle doesn’t mix the drinks too strongly and it all seems fine. Ruby brings the party down for a minute when Deborah makes some remark about New Orleans and the BAYOU not being too far apart yet seeming very different, and Ruby’s all “We all want the same things…like love and happiness”. Oh shut up. Gisselle agrees with me and announces that it’s time to have some fun: they’re going to dress up in Claudine’s grandmother’s old clothes and pretend that it’s the ’20s. Claudine parcels out the clothes and Ruby gets an old-timey bathing suit. She changes in Claudine’s room, but leaves her underwear on under the suit since it’s too big for her. Claudine pokes her head in to check on her and immediately tells Ruby can’t leave her underwear on since that’s not historically accurate or whatever. She leaves again and Ruby shrugs and takes the bathing suit back off, then starts to take off her underwear. She has her bra off and is starting on her underpants when she hears laughter. She freezes and then three boys from school (Billy, Edward, and Charles) come leaping out of Claudine’s closet and take some pictures of her. Ruby screams and grabs her clothes and runs into the hallway where her sister and the other girls are waiting all grins. Ruby screams at them and runs into another room to get dressed.

She comes downstairs later and finds everyone sprawled around drinking and she confronts Gisselle, who does not give a damn.

Notice my lack of giving a damn, swamp sister.

She does, however, want to know if Ruby’s going to tell on her, and Ruby says no, since what would be the point? Ruby goes home, determined that the first thing she does will be to lock the adjoining door between their bedrooms once again.

Up next: Sexy art times and ever more frackin’ voodoo.

:(

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/herocomplex/2009/09/dick-durock-swamp-thing-actor-dies-at-72.html

I had an entirely weird (but for me not so very), crush on you as a kidlet. I loved the TV show. Thank you for your service, and for being Swamp Thing.

Oh Ruby.

Ruby and Gisselle head down to the pool and Gisselle mixes up some incredibly strong rum and cokes. Ruby, of course, gives her a lesson in the dangers of alcohol, detailing Grandpere Jack’s life, but Gisselle is unimpressed and tells her sister to shut it and drink. Ruby chokes some down and immediately feels weird. Lightweight. Gisselle laughs at her and quips the old “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” and Ruby is confused about who Jack is. Oh Ruby. Gisselle makes fun of her some more and then the boys arrive. Beau’s friend Martin is your average preppy rich guy, swagger and all. Gisselle (as Ruby) immediately starts giggling and making eyes at him, and Ruby (as Gisselle) introduces them. Martin is just amazed at how identical they are, and mentions that he was always jealous of Beau for having such a hot girlfriend, but hey! now there’s another Gisselle!

I can't help but notice that there are two of you.

Gisselle CAJUNS that she ain’t nowhere near as pretty as Ruby, and Ruby, pissed and slightly tipsy, insists that no, her sister is prettier! Beau is clearly onto their switcheroo, but he doesn’t say anything. Gisselle prattles on about her supposed past in the bayou, all about the scandalous things that were done to her, and that she did, and she basically promises Martin that she’ll sleep with him for jewelry. Ruby is getting angrier and angrier as her sister besmirches her name, but Gisselle takes Martin off into the shadows and Ruby is left alone with Beau. Beau starts kissing her, and she pulls back and tells him the truth. He plays dumb, but Ruby calls him on it, and he admits that he knew. They see Martin and Gisselle making out and Beau gets pissed and decides that revenge is in order. He pulls Ruby into the cabana and they make out some more. Gisselle interrupts and ends the ruse, confusing poor Martin all the more. Everyone drinks some more, then Gisselle takes Beau into the cabana and Ruby sits with Martin, who tries to make a move on her, but passes out. Ruby sits alone for a few minutes before Beau and a sick Gisselle come out of the cabana. Beau foists Gisselle off on Ruby, then collects Martin and skedaddles, but not without first whispering to Ruby that hers is the kiss he’ll remember. Oh Beau, you tart. Ruby takes Gisselle and the bottle of rum upstairs, and on the way she hears somebody crying in one of the other bedrooms. Gisselle tells her to ignore it, and Ruby gets her sister to her room. Gisselle collapses on her bed and orders Ruby out, but first tells her to hide the rum in her (Ruby’s) closet. Ruby leaves and does so. She hears Daphne coming upstairs and peeks out the door in time to see Daphne pause and listen to the crying, then go into her bedroom. Ruby goes out to investigate, but before she can enter the room where the crying is, Pierre interrupts her. He says she must have been imagining things, as that room was his brother Jean’s and no one’s used it for years. Ruby gives up and goes to bed.

Oh hooray, more voodoo. Ruby gets up in the morning and goes down to breakfast, going to the kitchen afterward to tell Nina how much she liked it. Nina has decided that Ruby is not a spirit, which is good, because otherwise she’d have to do an incredibly gross and elaborate ritual involving black cat guts and graveyards. Ruby mentions the crying she’d heard the night before, and once Nina hears that she drags Ruby back to her room in the servants’ quarters. It’s covered in hanging herbs and candles and jars of weird powders and a picture of Marie Laveau. Nina does something with a white candle and some brimstone to Ruby, since someone has obviously put a curse on the poor girl. Yeah, and his name is Andrew Neiderman.

(JK, Mr. Neiderman, I love you. Pin…is one of my favorite movies ever, and Devil’s Advocate is also pretty okay, and you wrote those books, so you’re clearly talented. But come on with the voodoo already.)

Ruby goes back to the dining room, where she meets Daphne, who sends her up to get Gisselle. Ruby tries, but her sister is the worse for wear, and Ruby is forced to tell Daphne that Gisselle is sick. Daphne goes up to see for herself, and discovers that Gisselle is hungover. Gisselle then blames everything on Ruby and tells Daphne where Ruby hid the rum. Daphne freaks out at Ruby for a bit, then storms off. Ruby is pissed at Gisselle, but her sister explains that she’d already gotten in trouble for drinking recently, so she couldn’t risk getting in trouble again. She’ll smooth things over with Pierre, so Ruby needs to chill. Ruby tells Gisselle about the crying, and Gisselle tells her that it was Pierre. He often goes into his brother’s old room and cries. Ruby says something about Uncle Jean’s death, but Gisselle corrects her—Jean isn’t dead, he’s just pretty much a vegetable, and he lives in a mental institute where Pierre and Gisselle go to see him once a year on his birthday. Gisselle is also sure to note that Uncle Jean is still pretty hot, vegetable or no. Gisselle. Inappropriate. Tell her about Paul, Ruby, she’ll probably get the first bus to the bayou. Girls, I’m going to risk using Old Meme in order to give you two some words of wisdom:

Learn it. Know it. Live it.

Later on, Pierre and Daphne call the girls in to scold them. Gisselle turns on the waterworks, naturally. Interestingly, Pierre is against unsupervised drinking because they could all get into a car accident (FORESHADOWING), while Daphne is against it because shenanigans could occur. Though Daphne clearly wants Ruby to get in big trouble, the twins get off with a warning and Ruby has her first art lesson. Her teacher is a wacky artsy type and naturally she is the most talented thing to ever do anything ever, and it’s all the more amazing because she came from the SWAMPS. There’s a weird “If she would be my student she must accept everything I say without question” moment that seems like it should turn into something later on, but it never does.

He was pretty creepy.

You’re the one sulking around in the shadows, Swamp Thing, jeez. You’re just getting pathetic at this point.

Professor Art leaves, and Ruby and Gisselle go out with Beau and Martin. They head to the French Quarter, where they score some weed and take Ruby to an adult toy shop just to shock her. It’s not difficult. In that same vein, Gisselle decides that they’re taking Ruby to Storyville. As they’re walking around, they stop in front of a big house with loud jazz music coming out of it. As they watch, an older man gets escorted to his car by a young lady wearing a super low-cut dress. It’s Annie, the girl Ruby met on the bus. We’re kindly reminded that Annie is a quadroon. (The points from Pin…are wearing off, guy) She tells Ruby that her aunt got her the job and she’s only working there until she gets an audition. She’s glad that Ruby found her family, and she promises to send Ruby the information when she has her first singing gig. Everyone is amazed that Ruby knows a prostitute, and Gisselle is disbelieving when Ruby insists that she didn’t know. The group goes back to the twins’ house to smoke, and Ruby (of course) has some wacky Reefer Madness reaction. Beau takes her to her room to lie down. Ruby falls asleep and gets woken up by Gisselle several hours later when it’s time for dinner. Gisselle warns her not to say anything. Before they go downstairs, Gisselle mentions that Beau was pretty upset about Ruby getting sick, and that he really seems to like her. Gisselle might be getting bored with Beau anyway, so she tells Ruby that she might let her have him. Ruby wonders if she wants him as the twins go down to dinner.

Whew! Sorry about the delay, folks, it’s been that kind of time around here lately! I know this was a short one, but we’re almost through and I’ll get them out faster if they’re shorter. Coming up: High school in the BIG CITY! Slumber party pranks! Scandalous art moments!

There is a house in New Orleans

Ruby wakes up in her super-awesome new Garden District bedroom (the lucky brat), and is, naturally all awestruck and overwhelmed by how extremely fancy everything is. She looks out her window at one point and notes that the house has a swimming pool and a tennis court, so man these people have a lot of land. Even though it’s hella early, our Ruby is a little go-getter, and not used to the layabout ways of the rich, so she gets dressed and goes downstairs. On the way, she sees Gisselle just coming in from the ball. Ruby is naturally shocked that such things can be, and Gisselle, after an initial “Oh, you’re still here?”, laughs at her and says that Mardi Gras goes all night, which normal people who are not from the SWAMPS know. She mentions that Beau’s coming over later to gossip about the party, and if Ruby’s still around she can listen in. Ruby points out that she lives here now, and Gisselle’s having none of that, since she needs her sleep to replenish herself. She judges Ruby for not putting on any lipstick before she meets people and when Ruby says that she doesn’t own any lipstick, Gisselle has had enough. She leaves her mask on a side table and stumbles upstairs. Hell yeah—-she’s in at dawn and she’s still drunk. I love you, Gisselle. Work that “Bad Twin” stereotype.

On that subject, my brothers are twins, and I’ve never been able to tell which one of them is really the “Bad Twin”. Maybe they switch?

Ruby goes on to find some breakfast, and finds her father in the dining room. He’s happy, if surprised, to see her since it’s so early and he explains that he’s used to eating breakfast alone since Daphne needs time to face the morning and Gisselle, is…Gisselle. Edgar (the butler from before) comes in and asks what Ruby wants for breakfast, and she’s of course just so flustered and grateful that she’s getting served and Pierre is charmed. He’s taking the morning off to spend with Ruby and then he’ll be going to the office in the afternoon and Daphne will take Ruby shopping. After breakfast they set out, and Ruby makes sure to mention that she’s hardly ever been in a car before, since in the BAYOU they walk or pole pirogues. I’m so glad that the Ghostwriter at least tried to mask the whole “CAJUNS are backwards!” idea by setting the story in the ’60s, when it wasn’t entirely unreasonable that a small rural community wouldn’t be flooded with cars. Even though my dad is from rural PA, and people had cars. ANYWAY.

The Ghostwriter really got out his Fodor’s for this next section. The Garden District is old and fancy! The French Quarter is older! Look, there’s Jackson Square! Let’s get cafe au lait and beignets! (Okay!) More importantly, during their morning out we learn a little more about Pierre’s family. See, Pierre had an younger brother, Jean, who was the handsomer, brighter brother, and he was the one expected to take up the family business and carry on the family name. Like James Wakefield before him, however, something awful happened to prevent that. Jean was in a boating accident that put him in a coma, their mother had a heart attack and became an invalid, and Grandpapa Dumas turned all of the pressure onto Pierre. Pierre married Daphne sooner than they had planned in order to try and have a child to make his parents happy, but Daphne was unable to get pregnant, and, doctors discovered, she couldn’t. Pierre’s mother died shortly thereafter and his father became obsessed with having a grandchild.  Pierre then describes meeting Gabrielle, and it gets a little too weird for my tastes, considering that he’s talking to their daughter. There’s a lot of “She was so beautiful and carefree and I was smitten and I starting cheating on my wife, like, immediately, and watching her wake up was so special, and I think my father was totally into me getting her pregnant too, and by the way sweetie, you really look like her.”, and he mentions that it wasn’t his father who convinced Gabrielle to go along with the baby sale: it was Daphne, but he doesn’t know the details.

Ruby asks Pierre if he knows of Dominique’s, and when he says that he does, she tells him about her paintings. Naturally, they rush right over and he buys one. They do some more sightseeing and have lunch, then head home. Daphne is up, and is sitting in the back garden, eating a late breakfast and reading Vogue. Pierre shows her Ruby’s painting, all excited, and she’s very polite about it, but clearly isn’t super-impressed. She notes that she hasn’t seen him this excited in years, and reminds Pierre that he still has to tell Gisselle about Ruby. This brings him down. That’s mean, Daphne. Pierre goes up to talk to his other daughter. After he leaves, Daphne tells Ruby that Pierre often suffers from periods of melancholia, and that she shouldn’t let him tell her depressing things like about his younger brother, and that she most definitely should not bring any drama into the House of Dumas. Daphne goes on to tell Ruby that she knows that CAJUNS have a very different morals from what Daphne expects, and though Ruby denies this, Daphne says it’ll all be clearer once Ruby is trained up as a lady. Daphne goes to get ready for their shopping trip and says that she hopes one day Ruby will be able to call her “Mother”. Ruby wanders around a little after Daphne leaves, and Pierre and Gisselle find her so that Gisselle can give a canned speech about welcoming Ruby to the family. She can’t come shopping with Daphne and Ruby since Beau is coming over and she just can’t cancel, but she tells Ruby not to let Daphne buy her any old-fashioned long skirts, and that Ruby should come to Gisselle’s room later on so that they can get to know each other. Daphne sweeps down and takes Ruby shopping.

Shopping montage!!

Daphne tells Ruby to let the salespeople think that she’s Gisselle, since the riffraff don’t need to know the truth. She has to spill a little when they get to the makeup counter, since the real Gisselle knows how to put makeup on and the ladies there know it, but it just makes the service more attentive and Daphne is pleased. She gets off a few digs at CAJUN women and their supposed lack of femininity, but when Ruby snaps back she tells her that she can’t defend them if she wants to be part of the CREOLE world. After all, those are the people who “stole” her. Daphne mentions at the makeup counter that Gisselle sneaks eyeliner on, though she herself doesn’t find it necessary. Again I say, in 1963? Okay. Daphne gives Ruby some advice about using one’s feminine wiles to get stuff from men, and finds it hilarious that it could have been Gisselle that was raised in the SWAMPS. Hoo yeah, real funny there, Daphne.

They get back to the house and Ruby goes around to the pool where Beau and Gisselle are hanging out. Beau wants to know all about Ruby’s life in the SWAMPS, asking her if she was treated badly or like a slave or anything. Ruby assures him that wasn’t the case, though she did have her chores, and he laughs at the idea of a Dumas woman cooking, since Gisselle can’t even boil water. Beau then brings up Ruby’s artwork, and when Gisselle cracks a joke about Pierre having been the only buyer, Ruby informs them that no, in fact, Pierre was not the only buyer, as it was money from one of her other pieces that brought her to New Orleans. Gisselle doesn’t like that. Beau mentions that he’s been out to the SWAMPS to fish and enthuses about how beautiful they are, and finally Gisselle can’t take any more of his crap and calls him on exaggerating to impress Ruby. Beau and Ruby are embarrassed and Gisselle spends the rest of the conversation making fun of Ruby for having harvested oysters and swept floors and stuff. When Ruby won’t badmouth the Landrys, Gisselle pokes at the fact that they “bought a stolen baby”. How ironic!

Gisselle wants Beau to bring one of his friends around that night to meet Ruby, and though he doesn’t think that it’s a great idea, she insists and he gives in. Beau goes home. Gisselle asks Ruby if she’s had any boyfriends, and Ruby tells her a little about Paul, leaving out the “And he’s our brother!” parts. Gisselle wants to know if Ruby slept with him, and when Ruby says no, she’s dubious, since she’d always heard that CAJUN girls were very promiscuous. Ruby gets mad at this, but backs down. Gisselle doesn’t really give a hoot, but warns Ruby that the New Orleans boys are going to expect a lot of her, since that’s what they think of CAJUNS. They go upstairs to look at Ruby’s new clothes. Gisselle is immediately pissed off by how much Daphne bought for Ruby, and gets angrier as she realizes that Daphne bought Ruby shorter skirts and sexier underwear than she lets Gisselle have.

Again I say: 1963.

Gisselle gets over it and tells Ruby that she’s borrowing some of her new clothes to wear that night. She also decides that they’re going to dress alike and try to fool their parents. And hell, while they’re at it, they’re going to do the same later on when Beau and his friend come over. Ruby is nervous, but likes the idea of being Beau’s girlfriend, even if it’s just pretend. They go down to dinner, but Pierre sees through their trick (Daphne does not). During dinner, Gisselle wants to know why Daphne bought all of those short skirts for Ruby when she wouldn’t get them for Gisselle, and Daphne claims that they’re what Ruby wanted, which isn’t true. Gisselle whines that she wants new clothes too, and Daphne gives in. Pierre asks Ruby to describe some of the food that she ate in the BAYOU, but when Gisselle says that it doesn’t sound so bad, Daphne insults gumbo. Daphne. You are dead to me.

Pierre tells them that he’s started looking for an art instructor for Ruby. Gisselle whines that she never got a singing instructor liked she’d wanted in the past, but when Pierre offers to set it up again, she refuses. Brat. After dinner, the family goes up to see the art studio that Pierre set up. It’s pretty awesome and Ruby is overjoyed. Daphne and Gisselle, not so much. Ruby moons around in her art studio for a while, then goes up to Gisselle’s room so that her sister can give her some pointers for the evening. Ruby says that she doesn’t think that she can pretend to be Gisselle, and when her twin gets offended, Ruby hastily explains that it’s because she “doesn’t know enough”. This pleases Gisselle, who assures her that she’ll be fine, as long as she sits up straight and doesn’t talk too much. Gisselle then does her best Ruby impression, which is basically “Dis here is de best an’ biggest house I evah slept in, and I kin’t believe I’m sleepin’ here, dis is all too fancy for me!” Ruby is appalled, but hides it, because I’m pretty sure she’s scared of Gisselle. Rightly so. Gisselle packs up a basket with a bottle of rum in it, and the twins head downstairs.

Coming up: Drunkenness, inappropriate comments about family, and more GD voodoo.

No, Swamp Thing, God. You're not in this section. Shoo.

I was I was in New Orleans

During the bus ride, Annie chatters on and on about Mardi Gras and New Orleans, while Ruby clutches her hands in her lap and listens to her in order to avoid thinking too much. Annie’s aunt, she says, is a cabaret singer in a club in the French Quarter, and she’s gotten Annie an audition. We get a little overview of the French Quarter (there are clubs and restaurants and parties and boutiques and art galleries!) and Ruby tells Annie about the paintings she has on display at Dominique’s. Annie is suitably impressed and squeals about all of the fun that she and Ruby are going to have in the big city, and tells Ruby to give up her address so that when Annie has her first performance, Ruby can come. Ruby confesses that she doesn’t know where she’ll be, and Annie eventually gets it out of her that Ruby’s running away from home. Ruby starts to cry and tells Annie about Grandmere Catherine, her death, and Grandpere’s trying to sell her to Buster Trahaw. Annie  gets angry and asks Ruby if she has anything of Grandpere’s with her. Ruby says no, and asks Annie why, and Annie says that if Ruby did have something of his, she (Annie) could cast a spell on him.

Oh good lord.

See, Annie’s great-grandmother, though brought to Louisiana a slave, was also a voodoo queen, and her knowledge and powers were passed down to Annie.

I will tell you right now: Every character of African descent in these books practices voodoo, knows someone who practices voodoo, or just really believes in voodoo. Now, I don’t know a lot about voodoo. Despite my lack of knowledge, however, I can can say that offering to curse a person who has hurt someone is one thing, but actually starting to chant a voodoo curse against the person without being asked is quite another. Ruby agrees with me, and quickly thanks Annie, but no thanks. Annie backs down, but advises Ruby to hold on to that cat bone that she’d given her. Annie asks Ruby where her family lives, and Ruby tells her that all she knows is that her father’s name is Pierre Dumas and he lives in a big mansion, so Annie surmises that he lives in the Garden District. Since Ruby’s knowledge of New Orleans probably starts and ends with opening a box of Zatarain’s, she is more lost than ever. Annie tells Ruby that she’ll look through the phone book with her, only she’ll need a little cash, a token if you will, to help the voodoo process along. It’s not for her, she assures Ruby, she’ll drop it in a church donation box as soon as she gets to the French Quarter. Ruby, naturally, agrees. Oh Ruby.

Annie and Mademoiselle Naivete get off of the bus when it arrives in New Orleans and find a phone booth. Ruby gives Annie ten dollars and Annie flips through the phone book mumbling voodoo spells to herself and finally tears off a corner of the page and writes an address on it. She gives it to Ruby and heads off, bidding Ruby not to forget her. After she’s gone, Ruby gives in to her curiosity and checks the phone book herself, only to discover that there is only one Pierre Dumas listed. She laughs and realizes that she paid for her company, so at least she catches on, because Audrina would still be trying to figure out what kind of magic that needed.

Ruby heads off in search of the address, and, of course, gets herself almost raped on the way, but she escapes and finds a police officer who gets her on the right streetcar. She rides it down to St. Charles Avenue (which was probably the only street in the Garden District that the Ghostwriter had ever heard of; Ruby, head down to First & Chestnut and stay with the Mayfairs, it’s the 60s, Deirdre should be around), and wanders around, marveling at the fanciness, until she reaches her father’s house. Ruby gazes at it for a while before deciding that it’s all too much, and she’s getting out of there. After all, she’s just a lowly CAJUN orphan (it’d been so long since she’d thought of that) and she chickens out and decides to get a bus back to Houma. Before she can walk too far, a convertible squeals up to the front of the house and a tall blond hottie gets out.

Indeed he does.

No, Swamp Thing, that doesn’t even make sense.

That's better.

(Note: I can’t help it, everyone on that show is so hot, and it does take place in Louisiana, after all)

Blondie wants to know where Ruby is headed, and when she asks “Pardon?” he immediately laughs and mocks her accent, then wants to know where she got the “rags” that she’s wearing, because they’re not the costume he would have thought she’d choose. Ruby is confused and offended, and angrily tells Mister Hottie McRudepants that her clothes are NOT rags, they happen to be everything that she owns in the world! Now, Ruby, I know you’re tired and sad and confused and scared, but let’s consider a couple of things:

• You are in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, a time when people wear costumes.
• You are in front of the house where you know for a fact that your father and IDENTICAL TWIN SISTER live.
• Ostensibly this guy, since he drove to said house, knows said people and, as he is of your age (and thusly the age of your IDENTICAL TWIN SISTER), it stands to reason that he’s one of her peers. And thinks that you’re her.

Let’s stop and think about these points, shall we? I’ll wait.

Well, Ruby doesn’t get there on her own–Blondie calls her Gisselle and she still doesn’t catch on, and tells him her real name; he muses that Ruby is an appropriate name since it’s the color of her hair and she’s so proud of her hair (and still she is confused); she announces that she’s going back to Houma and he finally realizes that something’s up, and finally he whispers that she looks just like Gisselle and Ruby’s all “Ohhhhh, her name is GISSELLE”. Sigh.

Ruby explains (kind of) that she’s Gisselle’s long-lost twin sister, and Blondie introduces himself as Beau (oh come on) Andreas, Gisselle’s boyfriend. Beau insists that Ruby carry out her plan and he takes her into the Dumas’ house, where they meet the butler, Edgar, who the GW feels the need to tell us is a mulatto. Oh, I see. (Ruby can tell this just by looking at him, BTW). Upon finding out that Gisselle still isn’t ready for the party they’re attending, Beau asks Ruby if she’s hungry, and when she says yes, he takes her back to the kitchen to meet Nina, cook and Magical Negro Character #2. When she sees Ruby and Beau tells her that she’s not Gisselle and Nina takes a better look, she immediately clutches some gris-gris pouch around her neck and accuses Ruby of being a zombie.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I’m sorry, where was I? Oh right. Beau laughs a little at Nina’s folksy ethnic beliefs, then tells her that Ruby’s not a zombie, but a real, scared girl and Nina makes Ruby some potion or other to calm her down. Ruby tells Nina about Grandmere Catherine and her abilities and Nina is duly impressed. Just then, they hear footsteps in the hallway and the three look up as Gisselle walks in and she and Ruby meet again. Gisselle thinks it’s some sort of joke at first, and Ruby, again with the melodramatic explanations, introduces herself as Ruby Landry, though “it should be Ruby Dumas”. Oh knock it off and tell a straight story for once. Geez. Nina crosses herself and wanders off to light a black candle and, oh I don’t know, sprinkle mystical powders somewhere or do something else that the GW saw when he was watching Angel Heart on cable one time.

Gisselle is a damn brat. I mean, she’s a brat. Ruby’s trying to explain where she came from, Beau says he’s going to get their parents, and Gisselle’s response is  “I cannot have a twin sister, and Beau, you are not leaving because we have a party to go to and I have a new dress. Oh, I’m sorry, swamp sister, you didn’t know it was Mardi Gras? You are ridiculous. Also, I’m prettier than you, so we’re not twins, and I’d never wear those clothes, even as a costume. You could be a farmer in those clothes.” I love her. She even knocks Ruby’s outfit for being homemade, and when Beau tries once again to go and get their father, she shrieks at him and runs upstairs.

Did I mention that I think you're a thief? No? You are most likely a thief, stupid swamp non-sister.

Beau shrugs this off, and goes to get the Dumas parents. Ruby sits alone for a while, afraid to touch any of the fancy furnishings, until she hears voices in the other room and then her father walks in. He has her eyes, and she’s amazed to see him after all the years of imagining him. He’s followed by his wife, Daphne, who is strawberry-blonde and ice queen gorgeous, and who immediately wants to double-check that this whole thing isn’t some sort of Mardi Gras prank that Beau and Gisselle have concocted. Nope, it’s not. Pierre sends Beau to check on Gisselle, and then he and Daphne proceed to hear Ruby’s story. Daphne is appalled, and pretty much hopes that they can give Ruby some money and she’ll just skedaddle. Pierre refuses to send his daughter away, and Daphne tries the old “But you didn’t raise her or anything!” gambit, but that only works when you’re trying to seduce someone, Daphne, come on.

So Pierre makes up a back story for them to tell society: See, when Gisselle was born, Nina was not yet their cook, that position was held by a (siiiiiiigh) mulatto woman named Tituba (Wait. Really. No, seriously, REALLY?), who was always doing crazy voodoo things all over the house, and they let her go shortly after Gisselle was born. What they’re going to tell people, see, is that the whole “We fired our crazy maid” was a cover story for the fact that Tituba kidnapped their other daughter, and people will believe this because babies are kidnapped for voodoo rituals all of the time. No, that’s their story, I swear. Tituba then sold Ruby to the Landrys, and on her deathbed Grandmere Catherine confessed it all and here Ruby is.

Daphne’s dubious since Ruby is so deliciously low and so horribly dirty, but Pierre talks her into it with promises of how impressed all of New Orleans will be with the lady she turns Ruby into. Plus, she’ll be the number one dinner party guest since everyone will want to hear this sordid tale. Daphne doesn’t want Gisselle to know that she’s not really her mother, so Pierre decides that they’ll tell her this nonsense too. Ruby agrees to lie. Daphne goes to prepare Ruby’s room, and Pierre and Ruby talk a little about Gabrielle and Grandmere Catherine and Daphne. There’s some random family history that just underlines the whole BLUE-BLOODED CREOLE thing, and then Pierre takes Ruby up to her new room. On the way, they run into Gisselle and Beau, and Gisselle is none too pleased that Swamp Girl is still there. She shrieks some more and goes into her room with a doorslam. Beau goes to leave and she pops back out and demands to know what’s up with that, since they’re going to the GD Mardi Gras ball. Pierre concedes that he can tell her all the news in the morning, and Gisselle and Beau leave. Pierre leaves Ruby in her new room. She’s appropriately awed by everything, and she goes to bed wondering if it’ll all still be there in the morning.

A note!

I was at a conference this past week, so I apologize for not having a recap up. There’s one in the works and it should be up in a couple of days!
I also want to apologize to the bajillion people who’ve been finding this blog by searching for Joan Holloway and related topics, and have found only her visage (as Vera my Vera) instead. Sorry y’all! But I do love Joanie too, and I hope that at least a couple of you read and stick around.

In the meantime, I don’t want anyone to have missed this piece of brilliance, so I’m bringing Shannon’s golden comment up from the…er…comments.

Introducing The V.C. Andrews Male Protagonist Support Group, starring Philip Cutler, Christopher Dollanganger Foxworth Sheffield, and Paul Tate, with a special appearance by Troy Tatterton:

Phil: My sister is totally hot, but she keeps rejecting me.

Chris: Just give it time, she can’t say no forever.

Paul: But it’s different for you, Chris. You and Cathy grew up together. Ruby and I don’t know each other as well as you two do. I think it’s going to take a lot more convincing.

Chris: I’m telling you guys, just keep at it. I had to pester Cathy for years before she’d have sex with me willingly.

*knock on the door*

Troy: Can I join you guys and talk about my niece, Heaven?

But the Wilkeses always marry their cousins!

Grandmere Catherine’s funeral is a major event, with people coming from miles around. Ruby faints halfway through the service and wakes up in a car outside of her house. Mrs. Livaudis, one of GC’s friends, helps her upstairs and gives her some lemonade. Paul, who has been pacing up and down the stairs while she was getting herself together, comes up and sits with her. Ruby is upset because she wanted the funeral to be perfect, but Paul assures her that it was, regardless of her fainting spell. She asks if her Grandpere showed up, and if he was drinking, and Paul lies badly that he was not. Grandpere acts up downstairs just then, roaring that he’ll do what he pleases in his own house, and as Paul and Ruby go downstairs, he’s chasing all of the mourners out of the house. Paul and Ruby back up the stairs until he’s calmed down, and then they go down and clean while GJ’s passed out in a chair. Paul leaves, and promises that he’s going to talk to his father and find out about this whole “siblings” thing.

Ruby goes back to her room and sleeps for a while, but she’s woken up by Grandpere Jack tearing through the cupboards and prying up loose floorboards downstairs. He’s looking for Grandmere’s secret stash of money, and he doesn’t believe Ruby when she assures him that it doesn’t exist. She briefly considers giving him her painting money, but she remembers her promise to Grandmere and she keeps her mouth shut. Smart girl. Ruby puts the pots and pans away, but she hears GJ digging up the backyard looking for the money.

Time passes and Ruby marvels at how slowly it’s passing. She keeps dwelling on her promise to leave Houma and not to live with her grandfather, but she’s afraid to leave the SWAMPS and she keeps remembering every horrible story she’s ever heard about young girls alone in the Big Easy, so she sticks around, cleaning up the house and cooking for Grandpere Jack. GJ gets grosser and grosser–he’s got lice and he hardly ever bathes, and though Ruby tries really hard to believe that one day he’ll get better, she’s not really too sure about that anymore. He is still convinced that there is hidden money somewhere on the property, and he accuses Ruby of moving the money to a place that he’s already searched, and though she tells him that’s not true, he doesn’t believe her and threatens to go harass Grandmere’s friends to see if they know anything. The house is falling apart, and though Grandpere promises in his lucid moments to fix things up, it usually falls to Ruby or to Paul, who hasn’t gotten up the nerve to ask his dad about GC’s story yet. Grandpere is suspicious about how much time Paul spends at the house. Ruby’s all “He’s my friend, knock it off old man” (okay, maybe not that far), but GJ tells her to look out for the Tates, who think that they’re something special because they’re rich. Also, he’s your brother, Ruby. There’s always that.

One Sunday Paul tells Ruby that he’s going fishing with his father after church, and since it’ll just be the two of them, he’s going to finally ask him about Grandmere’s story. Ruby waits all day to hear from Paul, but he doesn’t show up until that evening. By which I mean it’s so late that Ruby’s already in bed, so he lets himself into her house, steps over her passed-out grandfather, and wanders into her bedroom and stands in her doorway. Creeper. Octavious told him that the story was true. EXCEPT, that in Octavious’ version, Gabrielle was after him all of the time, smiling at him in town and wandering by him on the street, and on that fateful day when Paul was conceived, she paddled up to Octavious’ boat in a canoe, stripped off, swam over, and climbed in. And what could he do but cheat on his wife with her? Oh BS, Octavious. Who swims in a SWAMP? Naked? Grody.

Don't judge me.

Oh don’t smile at me like that, Swamp Thing, it’s skeevy. ANYWAY. Ruby doesn’t want to believe this version of the story (and well she should not), but she thinks about all of the dreams she’s had about Paul, and she realizes that maybe it is true, since she’s clearly a wild child like her mother. Okay, seriously? Ruby. No. Also, a note about the prequels: I’m a prequel believer. I tend to think that once we’re hearing Gabrielle’s story or Leigh’s or Olivia’s (either one), what’s the point of lying anymore? Obviously there are mad continuity errors, so those have to be dealt with, but then there are things like this. According to the prequel (SPOILER), Octavious raped Gabrielle. I’m pretty much of the opinion that this is the truth. Carrying on, Paul is willing to believe the worst of his father, but he’s also willing to be an absolute creeper supreme and tell Ruby that they should just forget that part of themselves and get it on anyway. After all, they weren’t raised as siblings (Unlike some, eh, Christopher and Cathy?), nobody else knows except for Grandpere Jack, whom no one will believe, and Paul’s parents, who won’t say anything that might reflect badly on their family, and it won’t be the first time that such a thing has happened in the BAYOU. ERGO, they should totally do it right now, AND once they’ve done it the first time, it’ll be easier and easier the more that they do it! PAUL TATE YOU ARE GROTESQUE.

Ruby is against this plan, but since she’s a VCA heroine, she has to suffer from “No, but…wait, I mean, hey that tickles! No, I mean…hold on I-am-so-overwhelmed” syndrome, so Paul’s got the top of her nightie pulled down before they get interrupted by Grandpere Jack. Paul gets out of there pretty quickly and Grandpere Jack proves that creepin’ is genetic as he stares at Ruby until she covers up, all the while muttering about how grown up she’s gotten and how he’ll have to deal with that. The cracks in my psyche that I endure to recap this stuff for you folks, I swear…oh who am I kidding, it’s fun! And disgusting! Ruby goes back to bed and cries and feels bad for a while, as well she should. I’m sorry, but dude. He’s your brother.

Paul doesn’t come to school (SO NOW THEY’RE BACK IN SCHOOL??? ARRRRGH!!) that Monday, but on the walk home, Ruby hears him calling her and turns to see him pulling up in his motor boat. He wants her to come with him as he’s got something to show her. Oh I’m so sure. Ruby agrees with me, but Paul promises not to try anything with her, he really just wants to show her something. So Ruby goes with him, and Paul takes her out into the SWAMPS to a massive piece of land. This land is Paul’s land, as it’s part of his inheritance. Ruby’s all “That’s super for you, really, but I’ve got to get home to my shack and make dinner for my disgusting drunken grandfather who likes to sell babies”, but Paul has something else to show her too. Paul takes the boat over to some water where there are weird air bubbles coming up. Apparently this means that there is oil in that there land, black gold, Texas tea, and this means that Paul is going to be even more super rich once he gets his hands on this property and starts drilling the oil. And with money, he can build a massive plantation house, a real palace, where he and his half-sister can live and no one will ever know their shame!

Oh hold on, Ruby says, this again? But Paul’s on a roll. They can pay off Grandpere Jack and Paul’s parents still won’t say anything and they can have servants and they can even adopt kids if Ruby’s worried about that, and they can get married and live happily ever after! It’s totally fine if they don’t have kids! (Somewhere Christopher Dollanganger Foxworth Sheffield is nodding along.) Ruby again turns this plan down and asks Paul to take her home. Once home, she walks in to discover Grandpere Jack sitting at the kitchen table with a gross man named Buster Trahaw, who is the son of some other local rich guy. The men are drinking beer and eating crawdads, and GJ directs Ruby to the shrimp in the sink, just waiting for her to shell them and cook them. Golly, thanks, Grandpere! As Ruby gets ready to make dinner, GJ is talking her up to Buster, detailing what a good cook she is, and how she takes such good care of the house, and of his gross ass, and Ruby starts to get a little suspicious. Grandpere also mentions that Buster’s “seen Ruby around” as she’s walking to and from school and the like, and Buster chimes in that he’s always liked what he saw, since Ruby “keeps herself nice and pretty”. Oh goddd the skeeve. Hold up, I need a shower.

Buster only hitches up his overalls on one side, in order to appear cooler.

And I’m back! Ruby is just as skeeved as I was, and more so once Grandpere brings up the fact that Buster is going to be taking charge of his father’s business soon, and he’s lookin’ to get himself a wife, and he wouldn’t mind if that wife was Ruby. Ruby tries to be calm and polite, pointing out that she’s only 15 (lots of girls in the BAYOU are married by then! Younger, even!), that she hasn’t finished school yet (she’s already gone for longer than either GJ or Buster!), and that she wants to be an artist, not a wife (Buster’ll buy her all the paint she wants! Tons of it!), but she finally just loses it and screams that she’s not marrying anyone and certainly not Buster Trahaw. She runs upstairs, but stops to listen in on the conversation below. Buster is pretty pissed off that he went and bought GJ a whole case of beer and Ruby’s not the compliant little thing that he was promised. However, since he likes a “little spirit” in his ladies, he’s willing to overlook it and give GJ an advance on the $5000 he’s giving him for Ruby provided that Buster gets to “try out” the goods before the wedding night. My soooooooul. Ruby quietly begs Grandpere to tell him off, but of course he doesn’t–he agrees and the men laugh and get drunker.

Ruby has had it. She packs her bag and prepares to leave as soon as GJ is asleep. Unfortunately, he comes upstairs to yell at her about Buster and sees the bag, and mocks her for trying to run away. Then he chains her to her bed. Yes really. He ignores Ruby’s tears and goes down to drink. Ruby cries and yanks at the chain a little, but eventually realizes that because GJ is a drunk idiot, he only looped the chain around her ankle and the bed frame, so all she has to do is lift the bed up, slide the chain off, and unwind it. This is why one must stay calm and analyze the situation, Ruby. You are a shame to redheads.

Neither myself nor Dana Scully would ever get frazzled like that.

Ruby grabs her bag and tiptoes downstairs, around GJ’s unconscious form, and out into the night. She considers going to one of Grandmere’s friends’ houses, but decides that she has to follow through and go to New Orleans. She goes to the bus station and buys a ticket, then hangs out for the intervening hour hiding in case GJ comes looking for her. She writes and mails Paul a goodbye letter, explaining that she has to go and find her real father, and that he means a lot to her, oh and please get over me I am your sister, then the bus comes and she’s off. She sits down next to a friendly-looking young lady, who also has the distinct privilege of being Magical Negro number one. Her name is Annie, and she’s going to New Orleans to work for her aunt, who is a singer. Annie’s going to be a singer too. Annie’s wearing a pretty basic (but colorful! Of course!) halter top and peasant skirt combo (in 1963? At night?), a head scarf (natch!), and lots of jewelry, including a ring made out of bones with a skull on it. Ohhhhhh crap. Voodoo. Here we go. Annie asks Ruby if she’s ever been to New Orleans (which Annie refers to as “the watery grave”) before, and when Ruby says no, Annie mentions that Ruby’s picked the best time to visit, since it’s Mardi Gras! Ruby is appalled, since she had no idea that it was Mardi Gras even though she is a devout Catholic and Houma does its own parades and wonders if it’s all a big mistake to go. She tells Annie that she’s going to visit family, but that they have no idea she exists. As they leave Houma, Ruby starts to look back, but Annie tells her quickly not to do that, since it’s bad luck. Oh brother. Ruby immediately faces forward, and, on Annie’s orders, crosses herself three times. Annie then gives Ruby a piece of neck bone from a black cat (good gris-gris! Oh brother). Ruby accepts this piece of stereotype and heads for the Big City.

Coming up: Mardi Gras! Voodoo! More Mardi Gras! More voodoo! History lessons! Gisselle.

What, a sister too?

The days are dragging on towards summer, and Ruby just wants school to be over because Paul is being a pissy little boy, ignoring her and being all PDA with a rich girl named Suzzette Daisy. Really? That’s her real name? Paul gives Suzzette his class ring and Ruby’s heart is further broken. She feels terrible for hurting Paul, but, honey, you broke up with him because he is your brother. You really don’t have to feel but so guilty about that. The other girls at school take full advantage of the situation to be terrible to Ruby, saying things like “Paul didn’t need to be dating a Landry anyway” and “Bet you don’t think you’re so special now, do you?” (Ruby response to the latter: “I never thought I was special, but thank you for thinking so”. Tee hee.) Over time…

Wait. Wait a second. It’s almost summer? But…Ruby (SPOILER) runs away to New Orleans in just a little while, and it’s Mardi Gras then. Which is (at least next year) in February. I…what…oh never mind.

ANYWAY. The school year finally ends and Ruby notices that Paul, seemingly mellowed by the passage of time and his new lady, is starting to give her the wistful eye at church again (really Paul), but she tries to ignore it. The summer days are hard on Grandmere Catherine, whose heart is getting weaker and weaker, and she can’t seem to cure it herself. She’s still walking all over the BAYOU on her healing missions, but she’s not doing well. Ruby goes to Grandpere Jack’s shack one day to see if he can help them out, but she finds him naked on the porch with a bullwhip, screaming at and fighting off some monster that only he (thanks to booze) can see. Ruby gets the heck out of there, disgusted. Since summer is not really tourist season in the SWAMPS and school is out, Ruby’s spending most of her time painting, but all of her work is dark and depressing now, all creepy alligators and the like.

Boo.

Grandmere is worried about her, but Ruby’s just not feeling anything much at all. One day Grandpere Jack shows up at their door, asking for money, and Grandmere runs him off, but it clearly strains her heart. Ruby gets a letter in the mail from Dominique’s, complete with a check for $250, which in the summer/spring of 1963 was an awful lot of money. Okay, I’d take it now. Ruby is determined that they’re not just going to sit on this money, and Grandmere reluctantly agrees to use some of it to live on, but she’s also clear that Ruby will need it someday to get out of their little town. Grandmere throws a little party to celebrate Ruby’s accomplishment, to which she invites her two old biddy friends, since Ruby’s only friend was her ex-boyfriend/half-brother. They do make a king cake, though.

I am both celebratory and delicious.

Grandmere cashes Ruby’s check so that she can stack the money on the kitchen table for her friends to gawk at, which is kind of gauche, but also kind of amazing. The little party is fun and the old ladies get tipsy on Grandmere’s homemade wine (my grandfather makes brandy and trust me–homemade = STRONG when it comes to alcohol), so Ruby takes charge of cleaning up. She asks Grandmere what she should do with the money, and is surprised when GC tells her just to run upstairs and put it in GC’s trunk. See, all of Grandmere’s precious possessions (jewelry, heirlooms, photos) are in that trunk, and Ruby’s only ever seen inside it with her grandmother there. She’s never gotten to look in it on her own. Ruby runs upstairs and puts the money away, and is dismayed by how empty the trunk is, as GC’s had to pawn many of her valuables over the years. Ruby starts leafing through old photographs, and as she’s putting them away, she sees another one sticking out of Grandmere’s family Bible. Ruby takes out the picture, which is of a handsome man and a little girl standing in front of a mansion. The little girl looks exactly like Ruby did at that age, so much so that Ruby goes and gets a picture of herself to compare them. They’re identical. Ruby can’t imagine where this picture came from, though, as she would have been old enough to remember visiting a house like this one. She looks at the back of the photo, which has the following inscription:

“Dear Gabrielle,

I thought you would like to see her on her seventh birthday. Her hair is very like yours and she’s everything I dreamed she would be.

Love, Pierre”

Ruby is pretty confused. Who is Pierre? Is that her father? Why would he have addressed the inscription to her mother, Gabrielle, who at that point had been dead for seven years? If the little girl is Ruby and she’d been somewhere with her father, how could he have gotten her without learning of her mother’s death, and why wouldn’t Ruby remember being with him? Thankfully, this series doesn’t have any mind control, so there’s a pretty basic explanation. Let’s go downstairs with Ruby and get it. Ruby goes downstairs and tries to hide her agitation from Grandmere and her friends, but as soon as the ladies leave, GC knows that something is up. Ruby starts out by mentioning her errand up to the chest and Grandmere puts it together pretty quickly. Ruby shows her the picture and says “The little girl–it’s me, isn’t it?” No, see, it’s not. The man in the picture is, in fact, Ruby’s real father, but the little girl isn’t Ruby, it’s her sister. Grandmere gathers her strength and tells the story.

See, the reason that Ruby belongs in New Orleans is not just because of her artwork and her talent, it’s because her father belongs to an old and important New Orleans Creole family. After Grandpere Jack sold Gabrielle’s baby, she was (understandably) depressed. She spent all of her time out in the SWAMPS, communing with the animals, wandering about with rice birds on her shoulder and talking to gators and the usual. Grandmere compares her to a swamp fairy. Well, one day Grandpere brought a couple of men from New Orleans (Charles Dumas and his son Pierre) to the house, as he was their guide on a hunting trip, and just as they’re ready to leave, Gabrielle came out of the BAYOU with a baby bird on her shoulder and Pierre was smitten. Surprisingly, though she’d been wary of men since the whole thing with Octavious, Gabrielle didn’t run from Pierre and they started having an affair. See, Pierre was/is married and had been at that point for almost two years. Grandmere warned Gabrielle about getting involved with a married man, but Gabrielle just laughed it off and said that she loved Pierre and he continued to come down from New Orleans to spend time with her. Eventually, Gabrielle got pregnant, but this time she was estatic about it. She wanted Pierre’s baby, and wanted to raise him or her to love the SWAMPS and their way of life. Of course, Grandpere Jack had to ruin it. When he found out about her pregnancy, he went immediately to Charles Dumas and concocted another plan. Pierre’s wife (Daphne) had been unable to get pregnant and Charles was determined to have a Dumas heir. So Grandpere sells another one of Gabrielle’s illegitimate children. Gabrielle starts to fade away almost immediately, not so much because of her father’s behavior, but because Pierre is so willing to go along with the plan. Betrayed, Gabrielle lets her health go and doesn’t eat right or drink the herbal drinks that Grandmere makes for her. (Hey, I’ve read Rosemary’s Baby, I wouldn’t drink mysterious herbal pregnancy drinks either.) Grandmere, though, notices something that neither Grandpere Jack nor Gabrielle does, and that’s the fact that Gabrielle is pregnant with twins.

Ruby: “I have a twin sister??” Me: “Ruby, she looks exactly like you, please follow along.”

Yes she does, Grandmere confirms, and GC kept it a secret because she knew that GJ would just run out and make a second deal if he knew. Ruby’s sister is the first baby born and she’s handed over to Charles Dumas, who is waiting out in a limo with a cigar and a nurse that he brought along but who Grandmere refused to let into the house. While Grandpere is out making the sale, Ruby was born. Grandpere comes back in, and when he sees Ruby he freaks out, yelling at GC that they could have made another $15,000! He goes to take Ruby from Gabrielle, but Grandmere hits him on the head with a frying pan and while he’s unconscious she kicks him and all of his stuff (which she’d already packed) out of her house. That’s just about the best thing ever. Although she might have done it a few years before. Sadly, the whole thing was too much for Gabrielle, and after making her mother promise to raise Ruby to love the SWAMPS and their CAJUN-NESS, she dies. Grandmere hopes that she’s done all right by Ruby, but she’s always known that her future was elsewhere. That’s why she’d always pushed Ruby’s artwork, in the hopes that one day Pierre might see the name Ruby Landry on a painting of an alligator and wonder. That seems like a pretty long shot right there, Grandmere. Sorry. Grandmere Catherine makes Ruby promise that if anything happens to her (GC) that Ruby will go to her father, and will not stay in Houma with Grandpere Jack. Ruby promises.

Ruby is overwhelmed and wishes that she could just be a normal 15-year old. She decides that her next painting will be a portrait of Grandmere Catherine. She paints her sitting on the porch, and at some point during the process Ruby decides that she’ll paint her mother’s ghost (Why the hey not?) in one of the windows, looking out at her Grandmere. When she shows GC the finished painting, Grandmere declares that her spiritual powers have been passed on to Ruby, as GC has often seen Gabrielle’s spirit in that very window, looking out. Wiggy.

Oh gosh darn it. Now all of a sudden it’s fall. And then winter. AND NOW IT’S FEBRUARY. But Ruby’s not back in school? I guess it’s just now 1963 after all? I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE, PEOPLE. Arrrrrrgh. Summer is over, but the heat is still oppressive and there are loads of thunderstorms. Before one, a neighbor comes to get GC as his son has an awful fever. Ruby makes dinner and waits up for Grandmere, but she isn’t brought home until the next morning, and she’s very sick. Later, as Ruby sits with Grandmere Catherine, she once again makes her granddaughter promise to go to New Orleans if anything happens to her. When Ruby promises, Grandmere asks her to go and get the priest. That does not bode well. Ruby runs to get the priest, but has to leave a message with his housekeeper since he’s at the barber. When she runs back home, Grandmere Catherine is dead.

The news of Grandmere’s death spreads quickly and by that afternoon friends and neighbors are coming by with food. Grandpere Jack, who was roused from the SWAMPS by some brave soul named Thaddeus Bute (the ghostwriter had way too much fun naming all of these throw-away characters), makes his arrival, stunned and filthy and nasty to everyone but Ruby. Ruby feeds him and he declares to the guests that he’s moving back into the house and will be taking care of Ruby from now on. Ohhhh great. The mourners leave for the day and some of Grandpere’s trapper buddies stop by and they drink and carry on into the night. The next morning Ruby gets Grandpere some clean clothes and gives him a haircut, all the while hoping that the shock of Grandmere’s death really will scare him straight. I consider this unlikely. More people come than the day before and Ruby starts to get overwhelmed, and then Paul shows up. Oh goooood. He’s behaving decently, though, supporting Ruby and offering his condolences. Then, of course, he gets weird. He tells Ruby that he wishes he’d been there with her, and when she apologizes for having hurt him, he immediately starts begging her to tell him why she ended it. Get a journal or something, buddy, this is neither the time nor the place, also it was APPARENTLY almost a year ago. Over it, get.

Wait. Wait wait wait. What month is it?

Ruby tells him why. Only, she can’t just spit it out, so she has to say pseudo-cryptic stuff like “You and I are the truths that were once buried” and “The day I lost my mother, you lost yours too” until Paul finally gets what she’s trying to say. He, naturally, doesn’t believe her, and says that it must be an old CAJUN folktale or something. I don’t think you two are quite that important, Paul. He also says that Grandmere made it up to keep them apart, but Ruby insists that it’s true and that GC didn’t lie or gossip. Paul’s unconvinced, and still thinks that GC just wanted to keep Paul and Ruby safe from his family’s disapproval and thusly came up with this story. Ruby’s all “It’s true, deal with it.”, but Paul is certain that he can disprove it, and then they can be together. Ruby tries to make him promise that if (when) he learns that it’s the truth, he’ll find someone else to love, but he tells her that he’ll never love anyone like he loves her, and besides, he won’t have to, cause it’s not true. Ruby just sighs and they hug, and then they go back in to the house. Ruby thinks about how Paul, even though he doesn’t believe it yet, has just lost his grandmother too.
RIP, Grandmere Catherine. I do wish you’d walloped that man a few years earlier.